Ready to take your sex life to the next level? Lose yourself in the control of your lover with the art of bondage.
For many, the act of bondage in the bedroom remains a mysterious practice that lives only in the deepest depths of sexual fantasy. Shrouded in taboo, bondage often elicits images of ropes, chains, and whips. For some, it seems too painful or strange to even consider. Yet for many, the thought of giving up control of one’s body to any and all desires of a lover raises their heart rate and kicks their arousal into overdrive.
While bondage - and the full art of BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Submission, Masochism) - has often been relegated to the obscure and uncommon, the emergence of novels and cinema such as Fifty Shades of Grey vaulted the sexual experience from the imagination to common consciousness. Almost overnight, millions of men and women began to explore the possibilities that bondage provided to reignite their sex lives. What was once incorrectly seen as only abusive and violent was shown to be a trusting, safe, and exciting new way for lovers to experience one another’s bodies. With a simple pair of cuffs and a blindfold, date night can take on a whole new name with any number of orgasmic possibilities.
Perhaps you have always wondered what bondage truly is, and if it is something that you could add to your repertoire of sexual experiences. Read on as we open the mysterious box on bondage and give a beginner’s guide to helping you and your partner experience this exciting act for yourselves.
Pulling Back the Curtain on Bondage
While the term bondage offers up visions of dominating, leather-clad individuals carrying whips, the basics of bondage simply start with a proper definition. Bondage in the bedroom is a sexual act that sees two trusting individuals engage in the restraining of one another for safe and consensual sexual play. Just the same as any other form of sexual interaction, bondage is best when it is done with trust, communication, and safety. Once that expectation is set, the universe of bondage is yours to explore!
Safety First
As we said above, bondage is only to be enjoyed between individuals who have set clear expectations of safety and trust. Before a single knot is tied or a toy is brought out, both partners must establish their sexual comfort levels. If bondage is a new experience, it can be unnerving or scary - which is a guaranteed turn-off. If the thought of being handcuffed and blindfolded is too much, make sure to communicate that to one another, and set the pace slow from the beginning. Don’t worry, you will have plenty of time to turn up the heat as you get comfortable!
Once you have set expectations, it is important to designate a safe word. A safeword allows you and your partner to set a word or phrase that, once spoken, immediately stops the action and allows for the release of the partner in submission. Having a safe word ensures that both individuals know that they have a way to stop things if they get uncomfortable or feel unsafe and that the other will comply quickly. The comfort that a safe word brings will help you and your partner to explore the various facets of bondage play while remaining safe and caring.
Dominants & Submissives
With expectations set and a safe word or phrase known, it’s time to begin to explore the sexual adventures that bondage offers! In bondage play, there is typically a dominant and submissive role. The submissive will relinquish control of his or her body to the whims of the dominant, and the dominant will take control of the submissive’s experience through any number of erotic and sexy acts. (We will get to those a little later!)
As with the safe word and comfort levels, it is important to discuss who will play the role of dominant and submissive. Never assume that the roles are set by anything other than each person’s preference, and be open and honest about which role you wish to play. Consider playing both to experience both sides of what bondage has to offer! You never know what you may discover.
Getting Started with Bondage Play
Once you are ready to get started, consider these tips for making sure that your bondage experience is as incredible as it can be:
Slow & Steady Wins the Race
Due to its exciting and mysterious nature, bondage play can be one of those acts that cause you to come out guns blazing. However, make sure to take it slow at first to avoid awkward - or unintentionally painful - consequences.
Are you going to start with wrist cuffs? Consider leaving out the blindfold or ankle cuffs and using your hands or a toy to bring your partner to orgasm. You’ll be amazed at what a simple set of cuffs can add!
Maybe you want to blindfold your partner? Leave their arms and legs free and see what happens when you drive your partner wild with a full-body massage that is accentuated by their increased sense of touch.
Don’t be fooled by the false impressions given by most bondage-related entertainment. The best way to start is not with a full spread-eagle tie-down. Allow the moans of your partner to lead the way as you slowly add different aspects of the bondage experience.
If you start as a submissive, make sure to let your partner know how far you are willing to go out of the gate. Don’t be ashamed to start with only one element of bondage, allowing yourself to comfortably get used to each part of the experience. Communicate clearly, letting them know when to go faster, harder, softer, or slower.
Lose Control - But Stay Aware
The raw and sexy sensuality of bondage can often tempt you to lose yourself in the moment. As the dominant uses all manner of sensual methods to bring the submissive to an explosive climax, make sure you arrive safely with focus and attention. Use proper judgment to stay fully aware of you and your partner’s experience at all times to ensure that bondage stays safe and satisfying.
Take note of any nonverbal cues that show discomfort or pain that isn’t desired and listen for the safe word to keep everyone safe. If your partner is flinching, pulling away, or has gone silent, it may be time to stop and reevaluate the situation.
Take the Bondage Journey Further with High-Quality Gear & Products
One of the sexiest parts of bondage is that the submissive gives up control of what may bring them their next orgasm. Whether it’s an unexpected ice-cube to the nipple, a surprise slip-on of a cock ring, or taking her breath away with a clitoral vibrator, the possibilities are endless when your hands are tied, and your sight is stolen. During bondage, each moment is filled with hot anticipation of the next erotic surprise.
While it may be tempting to jump in and get to work with whatever you have lying around (think necktie blindfolds and belt wrist-ties) you can both increase your enjoyment of the experience and stay safe by using quality bondage products. Built specifically for bondage activities, these products will ensure that you get the most out of your BDSM experience as well as stay safe.
To get started exploring one another’s bodies, consider picking up a bondage starter kit that includes a set of cuffs and a blindfold. The Lelo brand Etherea black silk cuffs are made of soft black silk that is easy on the wrist while maintaining a strong, secure hold wherever they are tied.
The Intima blindfold offers a complete black-out experience, which adds suspense and increases your other senses ten-fold. No matter who is tied up, add a bit of spice to the mix with an egg vibrator, anal plug, or cock ring - bringing uncontrollable pleasure to just the right spot. With a full set of bondage gear from AnytimeDelight, you can blow your partner’s mind - or your own - with an unforgettable sensual experience.
Learn More & See The Full BDSM Collection Online
AnytimeDelight is proud to feature the latest in BDSM and bondage gear, as well as a full catalogue of brand name sex toys that are sure to help you learn to love losing yourself in the control of your lover. Learn more about the full list of products, as well as other great articles on how to make every night unforgettable, at AnytimeDelight
