How to Untwist Your Thinking
Practical Steps to rewire your thinking patterns.
Positive Reframing
Divide a piece of paper into two columns. On the left-hand
side, write down any negative thoughts you have. On the
same line using the right-hand side, write down a positive
way of looking at the same situation. How can you rewrite the
thought to be more objective?
Examine the Evidence
Challenge your assumptions, so rather than believing a
negative thought to be true, examine the actual evidence for
it. Interview witnesses create a statement for the prosecutor
and the defence. What is the judge’s verdict?
The Friend
To quieten the critical self, conjure up your best friend. What
would they say about this problem or situation? What are the
qualities and superpowers that you possess that they would
remind you about?
The Experiment
Test the validity of your negative thought. Put your worst-case
scenario to the test. For example, if you have a panic attack
and feel you are having a heart attack, jog on the spot to
prove that your heart is strong and healthy.
Grey Thoughts
Instead of thinking about thoughts in extremes, evaluate
things using a scale of 0-100. When things don’t work out as
well as you had hoped, think about the experience as a partial
success, rather than as a complete failure, and write down
what you have learned and gained from this experience.
The Survey Method
If you begin to catastrophise, ask friends and colleagues
questions to find out if your thoughts and perceptions on a
the situation is valid, if they’ve experienced a similar problem,
and what they did to resolve it.
The Empty Chair
Look at two chairs in the room. Imagine one is your critical
voice. The other is the voice of compassion and reason. Sit
in the chair that represents your critical voice. What are they
saying? Now sit in the other chair and switch roles. Challenge
the critical voice as to why their thought is not true, responding
to them using a kind and loving tone. Continue switching
positions and roles throughout the conversation.
Future Self
Next time you are in a situation that reminds you of a negative
past event, write a letter to yourself from your future ‘ideal’ self.
How can they reassure you that things are different this time?
That this is a new moment and opportunity to be seized?
Love Letter
Imagine you are someone who loves and cares for you. What
would they write to you right now to give you strength and
courage? If this is too difficult, use two different coloured pens.
Write down your current thought in one colour and then a
more compassionate thought in another. Then re-read the
letter focusing only on the kind words.
Re-attribution
Instead of assuming that the reason the situation hasn’t
turned out well is all down to you or others, think about all of
the other factors that have contributed to the outcome.
Ask yourself what you can do to make the situation better or
solve the problem, rather than wasting energy on blame.
Pros and Cons
Write down a list of the advantages and disadvantages of a
feeling, negative thought, or behaviour pattern to work out
whether it’s worth holding onto them or not. Do they add value
to your life, or do they hold you back?
Sometimes
Simply adding the word ‘sometimes’ into critical speech, such
as ‘sometimes I should...” or ‘sometimes I must...” helps the
the statement becomes more moderate and gives us more choice
in a situation, rather than being commanding.
